soul-searching

 definition: the contemplation of your own thoughts and desires
This is the dictionary definition. To me, soul-searching will always be about finding yourself. I know that's quite an over-used term, so I'll explain what that means to me too. To me, finding yourself means finding what makes you content, reaching that point where all the stars and planets align and nothing could ever bother you. To go soul-searching is to go on a journey for the soul, not for the materialistic part of you, but for the spiritual part of you. A soul-searching journey is all about nourishing your soul, through culture, art, and whatever else makes whatever country unique. To me, soul-searching is about trusting your instincts and going wherever you think is right in that minute of impulsiveness. 
So, one day I'd like to go soul-searching, and to do this, I'd like to go back-packing, but my type of back-packing. I plan on sticking to the traditions of only carrying possessions in a back-pack, but I won't be camping. I'm not sure if that's what back-packers do, but even it is, I won't. Motels I can do, but I think I'd end up getting robbed if I camped every night. Anyway, back-packing around Europe or is one of my life goals. I want it to be around Europe because I think they have a lot of art and culture to see. I know plenty of places do, but each place in Europe is so different to the other. Is Greece anything like France? I think not.
I haven't decided if I want to do this alone or with someone. It'd be nice to be alone, because you would get a real chance for contemplation and discovery, however, it wouldn't be as exhilarating and enjoyable, plus after while, I can imagine it would get a little lonely. However, if I am to go on this journey with somebody, I'd definitely want it to be someone who's fun as company, can put up with me, (you'll understand this later) and is up for anything. I wouldn't want it to be someone who prefers the lavishes of travel, if that makes sense? Of course I'd like to try food originating from that country, but not a five star restaurant. Right now, I can get quite whiny and irritable in hot conditions, which happens to the best of us, so I'd look to be with someone who knows either how to deal with that or avoid that. I think the right people can put and keep everyone in a good mood. 

I'd also like to go on a road-trip one day, with my best friends from high school, around America. I haven't out much thought into that, but it's something I definitely plan on doing someday. I don't want to settle into a life or be married until I've done the two above things. 

"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page." - St Augustine 

"People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home." - Dagobert D.Runes

"One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things." - Henry Miller.

reasons to love hippies:

- they don't give a fuck what people think of them
- they want world peace and to save the environment
- they listen to wonderful serene music
- many aspects of the hippie culture was formed in the 1960's and 1970's
- they believe in love, not war
- they smoke weed
- they also like the 'natural high' through meditation and music, etc
- backpacking and other hippie-esque activities
- they are often vegetarian, and vegetarian café's are always so lovely and cool
- they wear such creative and unique clothes
- they're open-minded and liberal

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
-Mahatma Gandhi

"He who takes a stand is often wrong, but he who fails to take a stand is always wrong."

-Anonymous

"Hippy is an establishment label for a profound, invisible, underground, evolutionary process. For every visible hippy, barefoot, beflowered, beaded, there are a thousand invisible members of the turned-on underground. Persons whose lives are tuned in to their inner vision, who are dropping out of the TV comedy of American Life."
-Timothy Leary

"It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves."
-Carl Jung
"Imagine no possesions, I wonder if you can, No need for greed or hunger, A brotherhood of man. Imagine all the people Sharing all the world."

-John Lennon
 "It's amazing how low you go to get high."
-John Lennon

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem."
-Eldridge Cleaver 
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed individuals can change the world, indeed it's the only thing that ever has."
- Margaret Meade 

Polaroid-ed another one of my favourite pictures! We baked brownies that day, muy fun.

I've just had brunch at my auntie's fun, which was lovely, as always, and now I'm back home, back to work. I'm going  to revise a little for PE, do a past paper, then do something fun. I'm not sure what though yet.

mid-morning friday feelings

when I look down
they stare at me
defiantly
so I hide
under tables
behind smiles
and cheery eyes
and tell myself
I'm silly

family related pictures I really like

I look quite disgusting in all of these but that's okay lol

sunday's

I had a very nice Sunday, and most of today, so I thought I'd blog about it, so I don't forget about it. I'm also going to add this day and a half to my list of memories I'd never like to forget.

So it was my baby sister Zara's birthday 1st birthday yesterday! I swear nobody was excited for it as I was. My mum thought it was really weird because I was so excited for all the presents she was going to get. I just love presents, and I just adore her, so it makes sense to me. Anyway, so in the morning everything was really scurried with all the preparations, eg making the food, cleaning the house up, and putting up the decorations. I loved putting up the decorations though, everything just looked so festive, and I loved it! My sister looked perfect in her little black and white princess dress, with roses on. Then again, I think she looks perfect whatever she wears, (because she is perfect). I wore the same dress I did  for my birthday. I really do love that dress, it's so nice because it can be worn casual or dressy. And I love polka dots, I'll admit it. I might post a picture later of that outfit, or another outfit, because I really do want to start posting clothes on here. So after everything was set and everyone had arrived, I really started to enjoy it. We were having a barbecue so I didn't really have to participate, at all. So me, two of my cousins, and another girl who we aren't related to but we're so close to that she's considered family, if you get that, were all sitting on the trampoline in my back garden and just talking. It was really nice and we sat there for hours. Until it was time to eat. Then we ate food, which was nice because food is always nice, and then it was time to cut the cake! Zara was so cute then because she kept like whacking the cake and trying to eat it, because it had her face on aw. I'll post a picture when I can be bothered to get the pictures off my camera. So we cut it, which took a while, took loads of pictures and set off the confetti canon, which was genuinely amazing, it just went everywhere! You really should've seen the state of our conservatory. Then after we helped clean up, we snook loads of leftover food upstairs, it was a lot, then we stayed up till like 4am. One of my auntie's came in and stayed with us for a little while, which was really fun, because she's so lovely and she just acts like a kid. Just before that we'd had the old antique radio I love so much on, but they were playing really shit songs so my and one of my cousins were just singing Taylor Swift songs over it. There was four of us and mattresses on the floor, but we still decided to get on the same bed, and then none of us could be bothered to move. It happens. It was nice because along with giggling at everything and being stupid, we were also talking about nice meaningful things, which is a wonderful combination, you have to admit. We fell asleep at some time around 4am. In the morning my younger, not baby, but younger sister and my younger cousin kept bothering us and waking us up, along with throwing things at us, which wasn't nice. But then we got up and went to the games room and we just spent hours there playing games. We played pool, carom board and several gruelling rounds of checkers. Then we had yummy breakfast and went up to watch one of the most wonderful films in the world; A Walk To Remember. They just left about an hour ago so I thought it'd be nice to write a blog post about it. That's it.

I'm really hungry now so I'm going to eat something, watch some TV, do some revision and possibly homework, watch A Walk To Remember again and watch the new Victorious episode on the internet. Oh, and shower.

I downloaded a new application to my computer that makes polaroid pictures and I love it. I really love this picture. It's from my birthday, it's cute and my room looks nice in it.

exam fear

I have this brilliant way of ignoring the terrifying thought of my exams until late at night, when not much can be done. Then I go into terror mode, so I write down some sort of revision plan to reassure myself that I know what I'm doing, then I have some cereal in bed to soothe my nerves.
But I really should revise, right now. Since I got home, I've watched TV, made lists on the internet, and watched TV on the internet, (and spend time with my perfect baby sister). Productive, I know. No need to congratulate me.
However, in my mock for PE (the exam I'm dreading the most), I got 86% in the first paper and 93% in the second! Very proud of myself. However again, that doesn't mean I'll do particularly well in the real exams. I want an A*, simply because I desperately want an iPhone. It is my only motivation right now.
I'm completely consumed by school right now. Today has been nice, because it's Friday, but other weekdays and even weekends are full non stop full of revision, homework and controlled assessments. I'm itching for summer, for pretty clothes and an actual chance to wear them, for sunshine, for some kind of fun and freedom feeling. I think I've bagged a job for summer, so that's good! It'll be the first time I make money, ruling out the two hours I worked for my dad, where all I did was fold letters and seal them into envelopes. I got over 200 done. It was endearing stuff.
So this is just one of those blog posts. I just started my bucket list, made a short term to do list, and updated my lists of films to watch and books to read. I'm halfway through Jane Eyre, and it's wonderful! However I wish the corners would stop becoming dog-eared, because it isn't my copy. Life.
I think tonight I'm going to do some PE revision, make some people paper-chains for my room, and clean my room. I might write before I go to bed, I've been so consumed by the horrors of school I haven't had any time.
Oh, and on Sunday it is my perfect baby sister's first birthday! I can tell you nobody is as excited as I am, honestly, I just can't wait! I'm going to bake her fudge cupcakes too. To be honest, I think I enjoy baking more than actually eating them. Baking is just so calming and wonderful and blissful.
I really need to finish that scarf I started knitting around a century ago.

I'd really like to post outfits I wear on here, but is that wierd?